In this episode of the Wrestling Mindset Podcast, host Gene Zannetti sits down with Mike Monaco, Head Coach at Woodbridge High School, to discuss how wrestlers can stop chasing approval — and start wrestling for themselves. This conversation focuses on pressure from parents and social media, learning from losses, discipline, and embracing the underdog mindset to perform freely.

Episode Overview

Coach Monaco and Gene Zannetti cover some of the most important — and often overlooked — aspects of wrestling mindset: why young wrestlers sometimes compete to avoid disappointing their parents instead of competing for themselves; how early, intense coaching and social-media-driven expectations can create unnecessary pressure; and how focusing on what athletes can actually control — effort, discipline, attitude — leads to better long-term growth. The episode also dives into the value of resilience, commitment, community, and embracing the underdog mentality.

Timestamp Guide

• 2:03 – Parental pressure and wrestling for yourself
• 5:44 – Professional-level coaching from a young age
• 7:27 – Learning from losses even when you do everything right
• 10:19 – Weight management and discipline
• 13:25 – How the wrestling community brings different people together
• 19:06 – Why the sport is growing and what that means for young wrestlers
• 21:14 – The power of being the 10-seed with nothing to lose (the underdog mentality)
• 25:00 – Loading up districts and choosing to wrestle the best competition

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Wrestle for Yourself — Not to Please Others

At the 2:03 mark, Coach Monaco talks about a common challenge many young wrestlers face: competing out of fear of disappointing parents or external expectations instead of for their own growth. That pressure can steal confidence, creativity, and joy from the sport. Monaco emphasizes the need for wrestlers to rediscover why they started wrestling in the first place — passion, growth, self-pride. When the motivation comes from within, performance flips from pressure-driven to purpose-driven.

This idea ties directly to the core philosophy of Wrestling Mindset 1-on-1 Coaching: help athletes control what they can — effort, focus, preparation — and let go of what they can’t (opinions, expectations, outcomes).

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Managing Expectations: Coaching, Social Media & Outside Pressure

By 5:44, Monaco reflects on how young wrestlers often enter the sport under pressure to “be elite” from a young age — due to intense coaching, early specialization, and social media’s constant highlight reels. While technical training and exposure have their place, they can create unrealistic expectations and cause burnout.

Monaco encourages athletes and coaches to focus on steady growth rather than instant results. Exposure to competition and coaching should build resilience, not pressure. With the right mindset and structure — like that provided in Wrestling Mindset team sessions — young wrestlers can navigate modern wrestling without losing their love for the sport.

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Learning from Losses — Even When You Do Everything Right

Wrestling doesn’t always reward effort — and at 7:27 Monaco addresses this reality. Sometimes you show up fully prepared and still lose. But loss doesn’t equal failure if you use it as a learning opportunity. Wrestlers who obsess over perfect results miss the bigger picture. The ones who grow study their mistakes, adjust, and return stronger.

That perspective — treating losses as feedback, not judgment — builds resilience and confidence. It shifts the focus from outcome to process, reinforcing long-term development over short-term validation.

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Discipline, Weight Management & Preparation

At 10:19, Monaco talks about weight management — a traditional pressure point in wrestling. But rather than endorsing extreme cuts or last-minute panics, he emphasizes discipline, consistency, and respect for one’s body. Proper nutrition, smart workouts, and a stable routine build mental clarity and physical readiness.

Wrestlers who manage these controllables don’t just perform better physically — they walk into matches calmer and more focused. This disciplined approach aligns with Wrestling Mindset’s mission: help athletes build confidence and composure, both on and off the mat.

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The Power of Wrestling Community

At 13:25, Monaco highlights the beauty of wrestling as a unifying community. The mat doesn’t care about background, wealth, or status — everyone competes under the same rules. That shared struggle builds respect, humility, and connection. Community reminds athletes they’re not alone. It creates mentors, friendships, and accountability.

In an era of social media comparisons and pressure, that sense of belonging becomes more important than ever. Wrestlers who feel supported and connected perform with confidence — knowing that win or lose, they’re part of something bigger.

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Embracing the Underdog: Freedom of Nothing to Lose

One of the most powerful moments of this episode comes at 21:14. Monaco discusses the mindset of being the underdog — the 10-seed with nothing to lose. Without pressure and expectation, wrestlers can perform freely, aggressively, and with clarity. That freedom often leads to their best matches.

That underdog mindset isn’t about being last — it’s about competing with heart, trust, and execution. It’s what happens when wrestlers let go of fear and embrace opportunity. That mindset is exactly what Wrestling Mindset aims to cultivate in every athlete.

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Chasing Competition, Not Validation

At 25:00, Monaco closes the conversation talking about “loading up” districts and choosing to wrestle the best competition. Instead of avoiding hard brackets or looking for “easy wins,” he encourages athletes to step into challenge. Wrestling the best helps you learn faster, stay hungry, and appreciate growth — not just results.

That mentality — growth over outcome, challenge over comfort — mirrors the Wrestling Mindset approach: build confidence through consistent effort and self-improvement, not by chasing validation.

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Episode Takeaways

• Wrestle for yourself — not to meet external expectation.
• Focus on what you can control — preparation, effort, discipline — not on what you can’t.
• Use losses and setbacks as feedback — growth comes from learning, not just winning.
• Embrace discipline in training, nutrition, rest — it fuels confidence and consistency.
• Lean into community — wrestling connects people from all walks of life and builds character beyond the mat.
• Don’t fear being the underdog — freedom comes when expectations fade and confidence rises.
• Seek tough competition — not for validation, but for growth and self-proof.

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Listen to the Full Episode

Watch Controlling Your Controllables with Mike Monaco on YouTube, or stream it via podcast platforms including Spotify as part of the Wrestling Mindset Podcast catalogue. :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0}

Want to Build Mental Strength & Confidence?

If you’re ready to take control of what you can — your mindset, preparation, and performance — Wrestling Mindset is here to help. Our programs are designed to support wrestlers, parents, and coaches at every level.

• Book 1-on-1 Coaching — personalized mental training to build confidence, focus, and resilience.
• Schedule Team Mindset Sessions — build culture, accountability, and strong mental habits across your roster.
• Download the Parent Mindset Tips PDF — equip families to support the wrestler’s mental growth beyond the mat.

Control what you can. Let go of what you can’t. Wrestle with purpose. Perform with confidence.