Every wrestler wants to win — but not every wrestler takes ownership. The truth is, growth only happens when you stop making excuses and start taking full responsibility for your performance. Excuses might make you feel better in the moment, but they steal long-term progress and prevent real confidence from developing.

At Wrestling Mindset, we hear the same phrases from athletes across every level. They’re subtle, often well-intentioned, but destructive to success. Whether it’s blaming the ref, the opponent, or your coach, excuses shift focus away from the only thing you can truly control — your mindset and effort.

1. “The Kid Was Too Big”

It’s easy to rationalize a loss when your opponent looks stronger or more athletic. But focusing on size or strength misses the point of wrestling entirely. Wrestling has always been about skill, grit, and mental edge — not excuses about physicality.

When you catch yourself thinking someone was “too big,” you’re really saying, “I didn’t find a way to adapt.” Great wrestlers look for what they can do, not what they can’t. They study positioning, work their setups, and focus on the areas within their control. Wrestling success is about strategy and execution, not intimidation.

Mindset shift: Instead of thinking, “He was too big,” think, “What could I have done differently to neutralize his advantage?”

2. “I Got Hosed by the Ref”

Every wrestler has had a bad call. But the mentally tough athletes understand something powerful — complaining about officiating doesn’t change the outcome, and it doesn’t make you better.

The best competitors know that wrestling isn’t just about skill — it’s about controlling your controllables. You can’t control the ref’s judgment, but you can control how you prepare, how you react, and how you respond when things don’t go your way.

When you focus on external factors like officiating, you give away your power. When you focus on what’s within your control — your pace, attitude, and discipline — you take it back.

Mindset shift: Don’t wrestle expecting fairness. Wrestle expecting to dominate so completely that no call can decide the outcome.

3. “I Got Caught”

“I got caught” is often a disguised way of saying, “I made a mistake.” But when wrestlers use this phrase, it’s usually to avoid responsibility. The problem with that is — if you don’t own your mistake, you can’t fix it.

Every match is full of micro-decisions. Getting “caught” usually means a lapse in focus or positioning, not bad luck. Instead of brushing it off, study it. Why did it happen? Were you tired? Did you force a move? Were you mentally checked out?

The best wrestlers know that losses are data. Every time you take full ownership, you’re collecting information that will make you harder to beat next time.

Mindset shift: Don’t say, “I got caught.” Say, “I made a mistake — and I’m going to fix it.”

4. “I Was Out of Shape”

This one hurts — because it’s 100% within your control. Being out of shape is not bad luck, it’s a choice. Conditioning is one of the few things wrestlers can completely own. You decide how hard you push in practice, how disciplined you are with nutrition, and how serious you take recovery.

If you lose because of conditioning, that’s a signal — not a sentence. It’s a chance to level up your training and mental toughness. The wrestlers who build a strong “why” behind their work never gas out, because they’ve trained not just their bodies, but their minds.

As we always tell our athletes: conditioning separates winners from almost-winners.

Mindset shift: “I was out of shape” becomes “I didn’t prepare like I should have — but I will next time.”

5. “My Coach Made Me”

This might be the most dangerous excuse of all — because it disconnects the athlete from ownership. Saying “my coach made me” shifts accountability from internal to external. Great athletes appreciate coaching, but they never hide behind it. They take responsibility for their choices, their effort, and their results.

Your coach can guide you, but they can’t compete for you. The moment you step on the mat, it’s on you. Wrestlers who thrive long-term learn to internalize their training and make their performance their responsibility.

Mindset shift: “My coach made me” becomes “I made that decision — and I’ll own the outcome.”

Why Excuses Destroy Confidence

Every time you make an excuse, you’re sending a message to your brain that the situation is out of your control. That’s the opposite of confidence. True confidence comes from knowing that you’re in charge of your response — win or lose.

When you eliminate excuses, you start to develop what we call “unshakeable confidence.” You stop wasting energy on blame and start putting it toward solutions. You stop overanalyzing the past and start preparing for the next opportunity.

Excuses are heavy. They weigh down your mindset, your motivation, and your performance. Letting them go frees you to wrestle loose, aggressive, and focused.

How to Build an Accountability Mindset

Building mental toughness isn’t about pretending problems don’t exist — it’s about owning them and attacking them head-on. Accountability is the foundation of growth. When wrestlers take ownership, everything improves — effort, attitude, and results.

Here’s how to start:

• Reflect after every match. Instead of pointing fingers, ask, “What could I have done better?”
• Control your controllables. Effort, preparation, and attitude are always within your power.
• Embrace hard feedback. Growth happens when you listen and apply, not when you defend and deflect.
• Reframe failure. Every mistake is a learning opportunity if you’re willing to own it.

Why Mindset Training Helps Wrestlers Eliminate Excuses

Excuses don’t disappear just because you tell yourself to stop making them. They fade when you build the mental strength to face discomfort. That’s where Wrestling Mindset 1-on-1 Coaching comes in. Our mindset coaches work directly with wrestlers to identify limiting thoughts, develop mental discipline, and create accountability systems that stick.

Over time, athletes learn to shift from excuse-driven thinking to solution-driven performance. They become calmer under pressure, more coachable, and far more confident on the mat and in life.

And when excuses disappear, results follow.

Take the Next Step

• Start 1-on-1 Mindset Coaching – Develop accountability, confidence, and composure.
• Enroll Your Team in Mindset Training – Build a culture where excuses don’t exist.
• Download the Parent Mindset Guide – Learn how to reinforce accountability at home.

Stop defending your limits. Start defining your mindset. Excuses end where growth begins.